


It’s a Thankless Job

by eternitywrites



Category: DRAMAtical Murder
Genre: M/M, Non-Consensual Kissing, Pizza Delivery Boy AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-13
Updated: 2014-01-13
Packaged: 2018-01-08 15:37:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1134409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eternitywrites/pseuds/eternitywrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Aoba wants to do is quietly earn money slinging pizzas. Too bad the life of a delivery boy tends to throw him into the path of some real freaks too often for his liking. However,  on rare occasions, such meetings with his customers end up offering Aoba a surprising amount of interesting potential.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It’s a Thankless Job

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tetsurashian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tetsurashian/gifts).



> For mayonaka-hibiki on Tumblr, who drew [this really cute comic](http://mayonaka-hibiki.tumblr.com/post/63626991416/self-indulgent-doodle-strip-of-pizza-boy-aoba-with)! Cross-posting it from my Tumblr account w/ minor edits.

Aoba took the stairs at a brisk pace, humming softly to himself. The apartment building his current customer lived in was just shy of sketchy, with peeling wallpaper and an out-of-service elevator, but the woman at the front desk had been polite enough when he asked for directions to Room 335. Top floor, it turned out. Typical. At least there was only a single pizza box to carry this time.

Aoba was still a little out of breath when he reached his destination, though. He paused in front of the door, taking the time to mentally curse everyone who ordered food when they lived in the highest part of a building as he straightened his uniform and readjusted his visor. Then he skillfully balanced his delivery bag in one hand and knocked on the door with the other.

“Pizza delivery!”

There was always that beat after knocking in which Aoba instinctively braced himself for whatever happened after the door opened. He normally liked to give people the benefit of the doubt. Surely, whoever was on the other side was a completely average person who would simply pay for the pizza and allow him to leave, no shenanigans involved.

But he’d been working as a delivery boy for too long, now. He knew all too well that not every excursion was going to be uneventful.

Like last week’s episode.

He suppressed a horrified shudder at the memory just as the knob began to turn.

“Good evening, Mr. Noiz!” He had his professional smile at the ready as soon as the door swung open. “Thank you for ordering from Aoyagi’s Pizzeria. One large cheese pizza, hold all other toppings, right?”

“Right…” The response was slow, thoughtful. Aoba, preoccupied with rattling off his usual customer greeting, hadn’t really taken in the details of his customer until he spoke. He looked up just in time to see very light, very calculating green eyes size him up in an all-too-familiar way that made his teeth clench behind his smile.

That was strike one, as far as Aoba was concerned.

He took a deep, steading breath. “So…your Coil data said you wanted to pay by cash, correct?”

“That’s correct,” said Noiz, his impassive expression breaking with the slightest of smiles. Aoba was sure that the guy was younger than him, but the sheer amount of piercings on his face put him on a level of intimidation that Aoba could never hope to achieve himself. He was especially impressed with all the metal his customer managed to shove through one of his ears. It was kind of a surprise the thing didn’t just fall right off with the weight of those earrings.

“Well,” Noiz continued, his gaze sliding away as his smile grew wider. And more obnoxious. “I have to admit, I don’t remember ordering someone so cute to go along with my dinner. This is going to cost me extra, isn’t it?”

“I—what?” Aoba felt his cheeks go hot almost at once. This guy had definitely earned a strike two. Play it cool, play it cool, just play it cool… “N-no! It’s gonna cost you fourteen bucks even, Mr. Noiz. Here’s a paper copy of your bill.”

He thrust the slip a little too forcefully into Noiz’s hand and then took the pizza box out of the bag, almost dropping the entire thing in his haste.

“And here’s your cash,” said Noiz, handing him some money and taking the pizza out of Aoba’s hand. “But just out of curiosity, your restaurant wouldn’t happen to have any… _special delivery services available_ , would it?”

Aoba didn’t need any clarification. Noiz’s question practically dripped with slimy innuendo.

Strike three.

Aoba face had been red before, but now it might as well have been on fire. “No! No, no, no, no, _fuck_ no! Holy shit, I work at a _pizza place_ , not a goddamn dating partner provider or—or a porno scenario reenactment center!”

Noiz stared at him, his mouth hanging open a little. It almost looked like he’d been slapped in the face. Then his mouth shut and his eyes narrowed. “Feel better now that you got it all out of your system?” he asked, his voice cool.

Aoba blinked stupidly at him, the wave of anger receding and leaving him dizzy in its wake. That is, until he glanced down at the money he was clutching.

“Whoa! Hey, this is way too much!”

“I don’t want any change,” said Noiz, sounding bored. “You keep it.” He took a step back into his apartment.

Images from last week’s pizza delivery flashed across his mind’s eye

_Please, keep the change. It’s the least we could do after giving you such a fright…_

He shuddered again.

“Nope! Nuh-uh, noooot necessary!” He took a majority of the bills and practically threw them back at Noiz before he could close the door. “Thanks, but no thanks. I’ll just take an extra five as my tip and be on my way. Have a good evening, sir!”

Aoba gave him a mock salute, whirled around on his heel, and marched determinedly down the hallway. It was only until he was back in his car that he had calmed down enough to realize that he never heard Noiz close his door as he left.

 

* * *

 

“Again?”

“Yes, again.” Aoba slammed a ball of dough on to the counter and began to take his frustration out on it. “Would you do me a huge favor and deliver the rest of the orders from now until forever? I think I’ve had enough of being hit on to last a freaking life time.”

Mizuki shook his head as he opened up a large can of black olives. “Yeah, no. That’s not gonna help you, man. You draw weirdos to you like a magnet no matter where you go. Do I have to remind you of gas mask guy?”

“Gas mask guy is actually nice, though,” said Aoba as he flattened the dough into a circle. “I can deal with him and all his questions. At least he doesn’t play sexy music on full blast when I come over and creepily touch my hands when I’m trying to hand him his food. Or tug my hair and invite me to sit in his really nasty looking living room.”

“What did piercing guy do to get you so worked up?”

"He…” Aoba grabbed the nearest roller and continued his assault on the dough. “Ugh, alright, looking back I’m not sure he was all that serious. But he did use the ‘do you perform special services’ line on me.”

Mizuki, who got his fair share of attention from customers, made a face and rolled his eyes. “Wow, dude didn’t even try to be original with that one.”

“I know, right? He over-tipped me way too much money, too.”

“Paying for his _special services_ , huh?”

“No, he was actually about to shut the door on my face when I realized how much money he gave me. I, uh, sorta blew up at him after he gave me that idiotic one-liner.”

“Did you keep the money, at least?”

Aoba winced. “N-no. I really couldn’t. Seriously, Mizuki, it was a lot.”

Mizuki took off his elastic gloves and slapped a hand to his forehead. “Come on, Aoba! You could have at least split it up with me if the amount made you that uncomfortable.”

He elbowed Mizuki in the ribs, laughing. “Greedy jerk. And here I thought you were a concerned friend.”

“I am! But cash is also a concern of mine, I can’t help it.” He reached for a fresh pair of gloves. “So was piercing guy even decent looking or…?”

Aoba nearly tore his dough in half. “Wh-what has that got to do with anything at all?!”

Mizuki innocently lifted his hands up. “I’m just curious. No need for a conniption. Anyway, you have to admit that it could have been way worse. I mean, I figured nothing else could phase you after last week when those twins opened the door and—”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Mizuki. _Nothing happened last week._ ”

“Oh. Yeah. Got it,” he replied, eyeing the devastation Aoba was releasing upon the pizza dough with his roller. “Hey, unless you’re trying to improvise a thin-crust you’re gonna have to toss that one and start over again.”

The dough had been rolled so hard that it was slowly peeling apart, stringy lines of it sticking fast into the grooves between the raised bumps of the pan and oozing onto the counter itself. There was no way in hell it was salvageable.

Aoba groaned and took the pan over to the trash can, wishing he could dump some of his memories in the garbage along with the ruined dough. 

 

* * *

 

Aoba headed to the nearest gas station after work. His mood was still equal parts pissy and embarrassed, and he fully intended to remedy it with a generous helping of candy bars and soda.

He almost did an about-face and walked right back out when he saw a very familiar, pierced-up blond near the drink aisle. Unfortunately, the gas station had a retro-style bell that rang out whenever the door opened, and Aoba found himself pinned to the spot with Noiz’s sharp eyes.

Crap.

There was a scramble in Aoba’s head for the most mature solution possible. Storming back outside like a petulant child was definitely not the way to go. Going about his business and pretending Noiz didn’t exist was little better.

Aoba licked his lips. Casual acknowledgment. Yes, casual acknowledgment certainly wouldn’t hurt.

But it would have hurt a lot less if he had ran into Noiz a few days later rather than a few short hours after ranting in his face.

Why on Earth was this happening to him?

He took a deep breath and slowly made his way to the soda section, feeling Noiz’s gaze following his every move. God, the more time passed the more he regretted his stupid hair-trigger temper that led to that equally stupid scene in the apartment hallway. Why the hell didn’t he play off Noiz’s advances? He was usually so good at handling customers and their bizarre antics. But no, this asshole had to come along and make Aoba all flustered and fumbling. It was infuriating.

Suddenly, Noiz was almost brushing shoulders with him. Aoba nearly jumped. When did he get so close?

“Hey.”

“Hi!” Aoba flinched at the high pitch of his own voice. He coughed and tried again. “Whoops, sorry—uh, yes?”

Noiz stared down his nose at him, his lips pressed into a straight, unreadable line. “I was mostly joking,” he told him.

“Right.” Just as Aoba suspected. It made him feel even more awkward. “Wait. Mostly?”

That slight smile was back. “I still think you’re cute. Nice braids, by the way.”

Every now and then Aoba liked to braid the longer portion of his hair to keep it out of his way. He flipped his hair on reflex, knocking a stray braid off his shoulder.

“Well, I wasn’t joking at all,” said Aoba, ripping open the glass refrigerator door and staring blankly at the soda selection. He had a favorite, but he’d be damned if he could remember what it was at the moment. “I was trying to work, you asshole. You don’t put the moves on someone when they’re on the clock!”

Noiz snorted. “Those weren’t my moves.”

“Whatever.” Aoba gave up trying to figure out which one he wanted and grabbed a random soda instead. “Alright, we’ve each said our piece. Let’s just pretend this whole thing never happened, okay?”

“Wait. What’s your name?”

“What?”

“Your name. What is it?”

Aoba hesitated. After a moment, he decided it was a reasonable enough request. “Aoba. Nice…to meet you.”

“Aoba.” Noiz repeated it slowly, as if the word sounded strange on his tongue. For whatever reason, that brought a twinge of heat to his cheeks again. “Well, Aoba, I thought the pizza was super delicious. Did you make it yourself?”

“Nope,” lied Aoba at once, heading straight for the candy aisle. He was quickly discovering that he couldn’t really handle this guy. “All of our pizzas are made by a fat old man with only three rotten teeth left in his mouth and a disgusting amount of chest and stomach hair. Sorry for bursting your fantasy bubble.”

He heard Noiz snicker but he refused to look at him as he riffled violently through the gummy bags. “You’d be a better liar if you didn’t blush more than a shy schoolgirl.”

Aoba spun around to face him. “Are _these_ your moves? Because they suck all kinds of ass.”

“Nah.” Noiz bent down and gave Aoba a soft peck on the lips before he could even process what was happening. Then something warm and wet traced up Aoba’s lips.

Oh, god. He had a tongue piercing, too.

Noiz pulled away. “I’m having too much fun embarrassing you to put moves on you just yet.”

“I—you—you just—”

“We’ll probably be seeing a lot of each other now that the old pizza place I used to order from has shut down. But I’ll lay off with the shitty come-ons while you’re working.”

“Real generous of you,” said Aoba through gritted teeth. He did his best to ignore the way his mouth now pulsed with warmth.

“Glad you think that.” Noiz, in contrast, looked very calm. The kiss didn’t seem to have the slightest effect on him. He was already strolling away before Aoba could think of a good rebuttal.

“See ya,” he said with a lazy wave of his hand as he exited the gas station, leaving Aoba alone in the aisle with a bag of sour gummy bears, a grape soda, and a single thought blaring in his head.

_What the flying hell just happened?_


End file.
